Let me start off by telling a little story about myself. I’m a big fan of humility. It was never really taught to me as a child, nor do I subscribe to any religion that places a high value upon it. As silly as it sounds, my fascination with humility started with the old Ultima RPGs on the PC. Ultima IV introduced a system of morals called “The Eight Virtues”. They included such things as Honesty, Valor and Sacrifice, but they also included Humility. All of the other seven Virtues were represented by images of knights fighting bravely and giving their lives for their companions, or priests in dedicated prayer or tending to the sick. Humility was the oddball. It was represented not by any glorious imagery, but by an old man, alone, clad in tattered robes and holding a shepherd’s crook.

In those very young days, I was put off by this. I found it discomforting and “uncool” in a way. Humility? Wasn’t Valor vastly better? I mean, knights are way better than old shepherds, right? With a few more years, however, the value of Humility started to make itself a bit more clear. This concept that at first was baffling to my young mind started to become fascinating, and as more years passed, it became, quite by chance, a big part of my life.

This has been both blessing and curse. Embracing Humility helps you connect with others. It makes it much easier to lift others up and help them improve themselves, because you can still vividly remember a time when that was you down there needing a hand. However, it also makes it difficult to believe that you really excel at something. I have a novel that’s probably one good week of work from being ready to publish, and it’s been that way for several years. Why? Because it’s hard for me to believe that I write well enough that anyone would pay to read what I produce.

So how does this relate to WoW? Well, part of why I didn’t take the reins of Team 2 earlier is that I really did not believe it was needed. I could not for the life of me believe that what was wrong was that I wasn’t there. How could I be that important? Did that mean my leadership was part of what drives Team 1 to success? These are thoughts that I find very distasteful, and I was determined to not accept that this could be the case. I did everything I could to prove that “anyone” could do what I do as a raid leader. I tried to fiddle with things from the shadows, tweaking things to make it work without me taking direct control. Then the other shoe dropped and I was put in a situation where I had no other choice but to take direct control of Team 2.

To be honest, part of my kind of hoped it would be hard. I was torn between wanting to prove that there was nothing wrong with Team 2, and not wanting to prove that what was missing was me. In the four raids that I’ve run with them now, I can’t find anything wrong with them that getting rid of their old Bear tank and taking the leadership roll myself didn’t fix. We’ve bested everything I’ve thrown them at short of gear checks, and as I said in my last post, if lack of gear is the only real problem, that’s a damned good thing to say. Today, in fact, we blasted through five of the Rusted Proto achievements like they weren’t there. Yet again, something the previous leadership told me was impossible.

It’s really a good thing that the change in leadership and the departure of Bear came at the same time. Otherwise I might have no way out of feeling prideful about the successes. It really is great though to see them enjoying the rush of achieving things. Yeah, I know, it’s old content. I really don’t care. It’s something they tried before and failed at, and now they’re succeeding. Hell I don’t care how many Tiers ago it was, the bottom line is that they are turning around from feeling like garbage to feeling like winners. I’m sensing that spark in them to sink their teeth into something difficult and maul it into submission. I even think they have a real shot at the Rusted Proto… and wouldn’t that be a coup for a team that was told by their old leader that they were hopeless? Arthas too? Hell yes Arthas too. They’ll get there. They have some ground to makeup, but they’ll get there.

I still refuse to accept that it’s me that’s making it happen. I’ll spend my pride on others, and I’m very proud of them.


~ by Udiyvli on 03/08/2010.

2 Responses to “Pride”

  1. It’s not bad to feel a little prideful sometimes – not at all. But I like that you spend your pride on others. Not everyone can do that. Few also know that when you spend your pride on others, you boost them and make them feel like they are worth something. It is a good thing you did there, and sounds like good teamwork!

  2. Without a doubt, part of Team 1’s success is your leadership. Honestly, one of the reasons I continue to play WoW is because I feel that I learn a great deal about leadership and people relations from this game. In my line of work, these are real, necessary skills – sad, isn’t it, how most people would scoff at the thought of learning leadership from a game?

    Of course, RL has differences, yadda yadda. But Udi, you provide solid leadership to our raids. It is not that no one else in the world could do this. But you do it well, and as a result we thrive.

    Humility is not refusing to know who you are and what you are capable of. Humility is using your gifts not to serve yourself, but as gifts to the benefit of others.

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